At the entrance of Changshou Village, Jian Ru was hurrying back toward the village with a basket tucked in the crook of his arm, having just dug up wild vegetables at the foot of the mountain outside the village.
When he walked slowly, his leg was not very noticeable. Usually, afraid people would laugh at him, he always kept himself tense and careful. But now that he was moving quickly, his limp became obvious. On the left side of his face was a large scar that nearly spread to his lower eyelid. The skin there was stretched tight, pulling one corner of his mouth slightly out of shape. Now that he was rushing, the scar had reddened more than usual, making it look especially glaring and frightening.
Normally, Jian Ru would definitely avoid people. But the rain was growing heavier and heavier now, and no one else had the spare attention to notice him.
There had been barely any clear days these past two months. This morning had finally shown a bit of sunshine, but before those few rays could even dry a thin crust onto the damp ground, heavy thunder rolled through, drawing over thick black clouds and bringing down a torrential rain.
He originally had not wanted to go out, but there was not a single vegetable left at home anymore, and even the jar of pickled vegetables had been scraped clean. That was why he had taken advantage of the brief pause in the rain to head out.
The Zhuxiu River wound along the edge of Changshou Village, nourishing the villages on both banks. The villagers’ daily water and the water used to irrigate their farmland all came from this river.
But these days, the sky seemed to have sprung a leak. Heavy rain and light rain fell without end. The Zhuxiu River had expanded to more than double its usual width, and the once-clear water, now carrying huge amounts of silt washed down from upstream, had turned into a black muddy torrent that surged rapidly downstream with a mournful roar.
Half a month ago, the village head had already sent people door to door to warn everyone to stay away from the riverbanks and not get close. He had even ordered the few households living by the river to move out overnight.
But even that had not prevented deaths.
The very next day, those houses were indeed swept away. And that same morning, Old Madam Wang was discovered missing.
People searched for two or three days before finally finding her five or six li away by the riverbank. A tree branch from a large tree that had been washed over and flattened against the shore had snagged her body; otherwise, who knew how far she might have been carried away.
Naturally, she had long since stopped breathing.
They said that while moving the day before, she had left behind a piece of cloth intended to make her grandson a padded jacket. That night she insisted on going back for it, but the younger members of the family persuaded her not to, telling her to wait until daylight. Unexpectedly, the old woman could not stop worrying about the cloth and went back by herself early the next morning.
And that was when the accident happened.
No amount of crying and wailing from the family helped. It was the height of summer heat already, and the body had started to smell, so the village head arranged for people to help bury her quickly.
These past few days, another group of villagers had been forced to move out of their homes as well, crowding into relatives’ houses or staying temporarily with villagers they were close to.
But this could not continue forever.
What worried everyone most was that the crops in the fields had all been flooded. After the floodwaters receded, no one knew how much would still remain.
Almost everyone in the village survived by farming. Now that this season’s grain harvest had suffered disaster, this winter would be hard to endure. No one could say how many people might starve to death.
So during the daytime these past few days, the village head’s house had been crowded with people coming and going in noisy discussion. Anyone with any standing in the village had gone there to discuss what should be done.
Yesterday, the shaman the village had pooled money together to hire had just finished performing rites by the riverbank. When the sky cleared briefly this morning, everyone thought the shaman’s powers had worked, but before they could celebrate for very long, the heavy rain started pouring again.
By the time Jian Ru pushed open the courtyard gate and entered the house, he was already half soaked through.
With the rain falling day after day, even the inside of the house had become damp and musty. Still, though the place was simple and shabby, its owner had done his best to keep everything clean and orderly, and every item was neatly arranged in its proper place.
Jian Ru’s parents had died three years ago in a fire that broke out in the middle of the night.
He had survived by sheer luck, but half his face had been burned and scarred, ruining his appearance. While escaping, he had also had his leg broken by a collapsing wall.
But being alive was not necessarily a good thing. Sometimes Jian Ru thought that perhaps it would have been better if he had burned to death together with his parents back then, but in the end, he was still alive. And since Heaven had not arranged for him to die, then he had to live properly.
So no matter how difficult the past few years had been, he had endured them all. Gritting his teeth, taking care of himself, he had managed to live alone without doing too badly.
After entering the house, Jian Ru set down the basket of wild vegetables and went into the inner room to change into dry clothes. He soaked the wet clothes in a basin, preparing to wash them later, when loud knocking suddenly sounded from the outer door.
Jian Ru’s movements paused slightly. Clearing his throat, he raised his voice and asked, “Who is it?”
From outside the door came a hazy, deep voice in reply, “Xiao Ru, it’s me.”
Jian Ru’s eyelids trembled slightly. He quickly straightened his clothes, and after making sure there was nothing disorderly about his appearance, he left the inner room to open the door.
Actually, the moment he heard the knocking, he had already known who it was. After all, Jiang Maocai’s knocking was different from everyone else’s, dong, dong, neither hurried nor slow, carrying a sense of calm steadiness.
With a creak, the door was pushed open, and standing outside was indeed Jiang Maocai.
“Brother Maocai, what brings you here?” Jian Ru reached out to pull him inside. “It’s raining outside. Hurry in and talk.”
Jiang Maocai had regular, upright features, fair skin, and a tall, slender build, so the same coarse cloth clothes looked much better on him than on others. He also liked wearing long robes, and when he walked, the hems fluttered in the wind, giving him quite a refined and elegant air. Every household in the village farmed, and labouring under the blazing summer sun was an everyday matter, so most people’s skin had been tanned dark. It was rare to find someone fair-skinned in the village, which made him stand out all the more.
Now, seeing Jiang Maocai step into the house, Jian Ru felt a trace of happiness in his heart.
Usually, if Jiang Maocai came to see him alone, he would always remain standing outside the door no matter how much Jian Ru invited him in. No one else in the village minded such things so much. Although Jian Ru disliked how distant it felt, he also thought it showed that Jiang Maocai was especially proper and measured, someone very particular about manners.
When Jian Ru saw that Jiang Maocai was not wearing a straw rain cape and that his clothes had already been soaked by the rain, he immediately grew anxious, fussing, “Oh no, don’t catch a chill! I’ll get you a cloth to dry off.”
As he spoke, he turned to go into the inner room to fetch a towel, but Jiang Maocai called out to stop him.
“Xiao Ru…” Jiang Maocai looked as though he wanted to speak but hesitated.
“What’s wrong, Brother Maocai? Why do you look so pale?” Only then did Jian Ru notice that the hair on Jiang Maocai’s forehead was disheveled from the rain and that his complexion was pale, completely unlike his usual upright and tidy appearance.
Jiang Maocai clenched his teeth and said hoarsely, “Jiao Jiao had an accident.”
Jian Ru’s heart lurched. Alarmed, he hurriedly asked, “What happened to him?! What happened?!”
The Jiao Jiao he spoke of was Zhang Jiao, who lived on the eastern side of the village. The three of them had grown up together. Zhang Jiao’s mother had fallen ill while pregnant with him, leaving him frail since childhood. His family was poor, and just like his name suggested, he was delicate and pretty. When they were little, there were always bad boys bullying him.
Jian Ru often stood up for him, but he himself was only a thin and weak ger, and no matter how fierce his temper was, there were times he could not win fights. Whenever that happened, Zhang Jiao would cling to him and cry in fright. Jian Ru would end up bruised and battered, aching terribly, but unwilling to lose face in front of his friend, he would stubbornly refuse to shed a single tear and grit his teeth while saying that next time he would definitely beat them back.
Later, during another fight with those troublemaking boys, Jiang Maocai, the child from the Jiang family who had moved to the village afterward, happened to see them. From then on, he began protecting the two of them, and gradually no one dared bully them anymore.
Back then, Jian Ru had rarely left the village. He had never seen such a neat and proper young man as Jiang Maocai before, and before long, he secretly began to like him.
Before the disaster struck his family, he had confessed his feelings to Jiang Maocai. Jiang Maocai neither rejected nor accepted him, only saying that they were still too young and there was no need to rush such matters, for they could talk about it again after they grew older.
At that, Jian Ru had been delighted. From the meaning behind those words, he understood there was hope, so he buried his feelings deep in his heart and planned to wait a few more years before bringing it up again. And after what happened to Jian Ru’s family, Zhang Jiao cried anxiously for him.
Whenever he could get away, he and Jiang Maocai would bring food to visit him together, and every time Zhang Jiao came, he brought things he had made himself to eat. Though it was only coarse buns or wild vegetable soup and the like, their own family was not wealthy either. Jian Ru would never forget the people who treated him kindly during such times.
Zhang Jiao would even shape the buns into different forms to cheer him up: little rabbits, little mice, and so on. Jian Ru was in terrible pain, but he still wanted to amuse him, so he would open his mouth wide and bite off a rabbit’s head in one go, then another bite and the rabbit’s backside would be gone too. Zhang Jiao would gasp softly in amazement, adorable beyond words.
Behind them, Jiang Maocai would watch the two of them with a smile, his expression so gentle it was impossible to look away.
Whenever Jian Ru looked at him, the feelings he had once harboured in his youth could not help but resurface. Yet at the same time, he felt that in his current state, there was probably no hope anymore.
By then, the bandages on Jian Ru’s face had already been removed, exposing the hideous wounds beneath, and even his relatives showed disgust when they saw him. Zhang Jiao himself had been startled the first time he saw the scars. Only Jiang Maocai remained completely unchanged in expression, acting exactly as he always had.
Once Jian Ru was finally able to leave the house, although the villagers sympathized with him, the looks they gave his scarred face and crippled leg, the gossip behind his back, and even the village children chasing after him while shouting “ugly freak”… all of it made him understand Jiang Maocai’s goodness even more deeply. Once, after being chased for two li while throwing stones at those children, he finally came to understand how cold and warm human nature could be.
Later, Jian Ru had gathered the courage to ask Jiang Maocai why he did not mind his appearance.
“It doesn’t matter whether there’s a scar on your face or not,” Jiang Maocai had replied, “Xiao Ru has a good heart.”
Indeed, he’s different from everyone else, Jian Ru thought.
It was probably from that moment onward that Jian Ru, who had already liked Jiang Maocai to begin with, fell completely and utterly in love. The heart that had sunk to the depths because of his scars and inferiority slowly came alive again.
Jiang Maocai was handsome and steady, and had long since found good work in town. His employer trusted him greatly, so he only returned once in a long while. Jian Ru missed him terribly.
And later, after Jiang Maocai returned once again, Jian Ru could not help confessing to him a second time when they were alone together. Jian Ru remembered Jiang Maocai’s reaction very clearly.
He had looked deeply troubled.
Jian Ru felt miserable inside, thinking that Jiang Maocai must dislike him for being ugly and lame. Yet he still bit his lip stubbornly and insisted on waiting for an answer.
After remaining silent for a long while, Jiang Maocai once again said, “You’re still young. There’s no rush. Let’s wait a little longer before talking about it…”
But Jian Ru was already eighteen. At that age, the girls and gers in the village had all started seeking marriage partners, so how was he still considered young?
Why did he still have to wait?
However, since Jiang Maocai had not rejected him outright, Jian Ru felt there was still a chance. He did not lose heart and continued treating him well as always.
He had spoken to Zhang Jiao about this matter too. Zhang Jiao listened with pursed lips and a smile, his gaze casually sweeping across the frightening scar on Jian Ru’s face as he said, “Brother Maocai is so good. It’s only natural you’d like him. So many people in the village like him too,” but as he spoke, he seemed to think of something amusing and laughed again and again.
After saying that, he did not say much more. During that period, however, he often invited Jian Ru to go into town with him.
Ever since Jian Ru’s face had been scarred and his leg ruined, he had hated meeting strangers. Though he acted as though he did not care, whenever people stared at him or pointed at him behind his back, he silently endured the hurt inside.
But Zhang Jiao disliked staying cooped up in the village all the time and begged him to go into town together and visit Brother Maocai while they were there. Eventually Jian Ru was persuaded and went along with him.
But after only two trips, Jian Ru refused to go ever again.
Zhang Jiao was beautiful, his face flawless without the slightest blemish. His personality and temperament were lovable too. Standing beside him, Jian Ru, who would argue bitterly with stall owners over being shorted a few liang in weight, only seemed more like an ill-tempered ugly monster by comparison.
When Jian Ru refused to go again, Zhang Jiao noticed he was unhappy and kept asking why. In the end, Jian Ru had no choice but to tell him the truth.
Zhang Jiao hugged him softly and pouted as he said, “Now I understand what’s going on. It’s all my fault. I won’t force you to go out again in the future.”
Naturally, Jian Ru did not blame him. He even apologized to Zhang Jiao instead, saying he should not have let his inferiority over his scars ruin their time together.
“Whether we go out or not isn’t important,” Zhang Jiao sighed and said. “It’s just that over at the master’s household where Brother Maocai works…”
“What about that place?” Jian Ru asked.
Looking troubled, Zhang Jiao continued, “The family runs a business, and they said… they said…”
“What did they say?” Jian Ru still did not understand.
“Ah, it wasn’t really anything. Just that we keep going to see Brother Maocai, and it’s affecting their business.”
“Then we just go in and take a look, and only talk to Brother Maocai when no one’s around; how does that affect their business?” Jian Ru asked in confusion.
Then, looking at Zhang Jiao’s awkward expression as he glanced at the scar on his face, Jian Ru suddenly understood everything.
“They’re afraid I’ll scare away their customers?” he asked in a low voice.
Zhang Jiao coughed once but said nothing. The light in Jian Ru’s eyes dimmed, and he did not ask further.
From that day on, Zhang Jiao no longer left the village. When they had free time, the two of them still stayed home, but when Jiang Maocai returned from town, they would still be together, for they were the only ones who did not mind him.
Jian Ru was a grateful person, and he remembered every bit of kindness shown to him. When others treated him well, he would repay them tenfold. Whenever there was good food or useful things, he would keep only one or two portions for himself and send seven or eight portions to the other two. When they had troubles, he treated them as his own.
When Zhang Jiao’s mother fell ill and Zhang Jiao could not take care of her, Jian Ru would go early and return late, treating her as if she were his own mother. When Jiang Maocai was often away and could not attend to things at home, Jian Ru would also go help whenever the elders in the family were unable to work.
They had been friends for so many years, and Jian Ru cherished them deeply.
Now that Jiang Maocai said Zhang Jiao had an accident, Jian Ru naturally panicked like an ant on a hot pan.
The two of them walked one in front and one behind through the rain. Jian Ru in front no longer cared whether his limp would be noticed, as he was practically half-running, stumbling and staggering, almost out of breath.
Jiang Maocai behind him glanced at his back, then lowered his eyes, hiding the complex expression within them.
The rain grew heavier and heavier, quickly soaking Jian Ru’s hair into clumps. The already unsightly half of his face looked even more miserable.
Their destination was Zhang Jiao’s home.
The village flooding was becoming increasingly severe. No matter what methods they tried, nothing worked. The river grew more violent, the riverbed wider, as if it would pour into the village and swallow everything. The river that once nourished them had become a river that devoured lives.
Jiang Maocai said that last night, the village head’s household had stayed up the entire night with a crowd of people. The smoke from their dry tobacco stung their eyes, and in the end, they decided to follow the shaman they had hired and offer sacrifices to the River God.
In addition to cattle, sheep, pigs, and horses, they also had to send a handsome ger or girl to become the River God’s bride.
The chosen one had ultimately become Zhang Jiao, the most beautiful ger in the village. His mother cried until she was on the verge of collapse, but she was powerless to stop it.
And tonight, Zhang Jiao would be thrown into that deadly river.
Veins stood out sharply on Jian Ru’s forehead. In his thin hand, he gripped a shovel, intending to go to the Zhang household and fight the village head and the others. As long as he was still alive, no one would take Zhang Jiao away.
“Brother Maocai, hurry!” The rain grew even heavier, splashing into his eyes until he could barely keep them open. His clothes were completely soaked, and his frail body trembled inside them, but he could not care less.
Thinking of Zhang Jiao already bound up, terrified beyond words, Jian Ru felt his heart burning with urgency. He turned back to urge the man behind him once more. Jiang Maocai responded, but his pace did not quicken either; instead, it slowed slightly.
Jian Ru did not notice, nor did he feel the way the man behind him kept looking around at the houses, the windows along the street, and the depths of the alleys.
Only when they finally saw Zhang Jiao’s home in the distance did Jian Ru’s spirit jolt. He tightened his grip on the shovel handle and was about to rush forward. But the moment he stepped out, a sharp, violent pain exploded at the back of his head. His vision went black, and he swayed, nearly collapsing.
Was it the village children getting revenge and throwing stones at him again?
Staggering, he tried to turn around and call for Jiang Maocai’s help, but at that moment, another heavy blow landed on the back of his head, harder, more decisive than the first.
Only then did Jian Ru realize it was not a stone at all, but a wooden club. The person striking him seemed to be…
But it no longer mattered.
His vision went black, and he lost consciousness instantly.
…………………
When he woke again, his mouth was stuffed, his hands and feet bound. A red bridal veil covered his face, and he was being carried forward on a wooden frame.
Jian Ru was not stupid, and he immediately had a premonition. He struggled desperately, all the way until the red veil slipped open at one corner, about to fall off. At that moment, someone grabbed the edge of the veil and pulled it back into place, not leaving a single gap.
Jian Ru let out muffled “mm-mm” sounds, trying to draw attention, when a warm hand firmly grasped his.
He immediately fell still.
“Xiao Ru, don’t blame us,” a familiar male voice sounded beside his ear. “Jiao Jiao is timid; he would be scared. Your face is ruined, and your leg is crippled. There’s no meaning in your life anymore anyway; better to help the two of us.”
All the blood in Jian Ru’s body turned cold. His heart felt as though it was being cut apart.
The man who once made him feel joy just by hearing the sound of his voice continued to cut him open with blunt, merciless words.
“If you’re going to die, I should at least let you understand clearly. Don’t become a lingering ghost and trouble us. All these years, once I understood things, the person I liked was always Jiao Jiao. You two always played together, and I only treated you well so Jiao Jiao would be happy.”
“I never had any feelings for you. Let alone now that your face looks like a ghost; I could never possibly like you.”
At this, Jian Ru on the wooden frame began struggling again with all his strength. But Jiang Maocai gripped his hand tightly, as if he intended to crush his bones.
“I’m not often at home, and Jiao Jiao is soft-tempered and gets bullied easily. With you by his side, you could take care of him when I’m away. Don’t blame us. With your temper and appearance, without us, who would ever be your friend?”
The red veil covering his face grew damp, little by little, until he finally stopped struggling.
“Blame the village head and the others for being too superstitious,” Jiang Maocai released his hand and said. “Without appointing Jiao Jiao as a living sacrifice, we would never have had a chance to leave this village and live well elsewhere. Go in peace. We’ll burn paper offerings for you every festival.”
Jian Ru had always wanted to live. He had endured so much and never given up, but at this moment, he finally had nothing left to cling to.
Tears fell as he closed his eyes and accepted his fate.
The wooden frame stopped. He smelled the thick scent of earth and heard the violent rush of water eroding the riverbank, as fragments of his past flashed through his mind.
His parents disappearing in the flames.
The green wheat fields in the village.
Zhang Jiao’s naive, pitiful smile.
The hem of Jiang Maocai’s robe fluttering in the wind.
And the rabbit and mouse-shaped steamed buns brought by the two of them when he was injured in bed.
Only now did he finally understand.
The one Jiang Maocai looked at with such gentle eyes had always been Zhang Jiao.
Those rabbits and mice that once comforted him during illness were likely made by the two of them together. Perhaps while shaping them, Jiang Maocai gently wiped the flour from Zhang Jiao’s face. Perhaps Zhang Jiao, blushing, asked Brother Maocai to help shape the rabbit tail he could not make properly.
Looking back now, the exchanges between their eyes and their behavior, all of it had already existed back then, during the most painful days of his life.
Jian Ru did not think he was stupid. Even now, he still did not.
He only thought his luck had been very poor.
So this was how his life would end.
Perhaps in the next life… if Heaven had treated him so badly in this one, then in the next, it should at least give him a little luck. Just a little would be enough.
With a splash, he fell into the icy river water. His mouth and nose were submerged…
…And Jian Ru lost consciousness.
T.N: Because the characters in this novel have similar names that could create confusion for the readers, I have made a character list and relationships page that will be updated every time a new character appears. The list is available here, and for future chapters, it will appear as a button at the start of the chapter, next to the TOC button. Thank you for reading!
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