When Long Yin told him not to cry, Feng Qingyun only cried harder instead. He couldn’t get a single word out. He threw himself into the man’s arms, tears mingling with blood as they streamed down his face in an utterly pitiful sight.
At this moment, holding Long Yin felt like embracing a half-melted statue. There was no warmth, no breath, no heartbeat, only a chilling cold that seeped straight into the bones. That golden, sand-like molten fluid smeared across Feng Qingyun’s face, yet he paid it no mind at all, burying himself against Long Yin’s neck as his tears fell uncontrollably.
He cried without making a sound, biting down hard on his lower lip as tears slid silently past his lashes. One moment ago, he had been killing without blinking; the next, he clung to his lover, weeping so pitifully it could break anyone’s heart.
And yet Long Yin, worthy of being the Heavenly Dao, was no ordinary man. Seeing this, he actually smiled, saying:
[The Little Palace Master Feng truly lives up to his name; so brave, even holding half a husband doesn’t frighten you.]
Feng Qingyun knew he was trying to make him laugh, but he simply couldn’t. He couldn’t even speak through his sobs. Tears surged endlessly as he choked out: “I missed you so much… but I already…”
I can’t even remember what you fully looked like anymore.
For Feng Qingyun, it was a devastating blow beyond measure. He couldn’t even bring himself to say it aloud, only holding the man tighter as he wept. Those tears carried not just longing and sorrow, but love… and grievances too deep to put into words.
Long Yin’s heart shattered at the sight. He abandoned any attempt at teasing and quickly coaxed him gently in his mind:
[Alright, alright… It’s okay. Don’t cry anymore, good boy. I believe you, I believe my Little Rose will remember me again very, very soon.]
But the more he comforted him, the more Feng Qingyun wanted to cry. Tears kept slipping from the corners of his eyes, dripping down his cheeks into the golden sand that Long Yin was dissolving into, only to flow away into the boundless golden sea behind him, vanishing without a trace.
Feng Qingyun held him silently, watching it all. For one fleeting instant, he almost wished he could turn into a handful of that same golden sand so he could flow into that sea forever, never to be parted again.
But the thought passed in a flash, so quickly even Long Yin didn’t notice.
If he heard that, he wouldn’t like it.
Feng Qingyun buried his face against his shoulder, suppressing every dark thought in an instant, closing his eyes as he let grief and tears spread unchecked. Long Yin, unable to move and seeing him like that, was heartbroken beyond words. He didn’t notice at all…
That the mind-control techniques those immortals had spent centuries researching… Feng Qingyun had mastered it in just over ten days.
So naturally, he had no idea what kind of dark thoughts had flickered through Feng Qingyun’s mind just moments ago. As for how, upon their reunion, Feng Qingyun would later use that very technique to toy with him… that was a story for another time.
For now, anyone looking would only see a breathtaking beauty clutching his lover and crying his heart out, never imagining how merciless he had been when killing moments before.
Seeing that nothing he said could stop him, Long Yin finally gave up. Like a statue, he remained there, letting Feng Qingyun cry himself out.
Only after Feng Qingyun’s tears eased slightly did Long Yin seize the moment to say:
[This is the last stretch of time before we part. Though a brief separation makes reunion sweeter… Little Palace Master, are you really planning to spend it all crying?]
That finally struck Feng Qingyun where it hurt most. He paused, then slowly loosened his grip, sitting upright from Long Yin’s arms, as he swallowed back his sobs, wiping at his tears in silence.
His face was smeared with tears and streaked with gold from Long Yin, making him look unbearably pitiful, as if he had been forcibly marked and left crying in grievance. Even the sword robe Long Yin had personally embroidered with demonic patterns was now tattered from battle. Beneath the torn fabric, barely healed skin could be seen.
Paired with his tearful expression, he looked heartbreakingly fragile.
Yet Feng Qingyun himself seemed unaware. He simply sat there, stubbornly gripping Long Yin’s remaining left hand, lowering his head as he wiped his tears, choking on quiet sobs.
Long Yin’s heart melted completely.
He was still just a Little Rose, not even a thousand years old. He should have grown up carefree under his protection, not endured such storms and hardships. After finally obtaining a peaceful and beautiful life… that life had been far too short. Barely a year had passed, and now he had to watch as the one he loved disappeared in front of him.
How could he accept that?
They still had so many regrets left unresolved, their Dao companion ceremony not yet held, the egg not yet hatched, so many places in the world left unseen. They hadn’t even shared a hundred years.
Not even equal to a mortal’s life.
In the end, all those countless thoughts condensed in Long Yin’s heart, yet he swallowed them all back. He couldn’t bear to say them.
He couldn’t bear to make his Little Rose cry even harder.
But Feng Qingyun bit his lip and, for once, didn’t snap back at him. After a long pause, red-eyed, he finally spoke hoarsely: “…Ancestor Tong Tian has ascended. The Heavenly Fox Patriarch told me the matters of the Heavenly Realm don’t concern us, and they’ll handle everything.”
Hearing that, Long Yin wasn’t surprised, answering:
[Those two freeloaded long enough; it’s about time they did something useful. Though if I remember correctly, Tong Tian also descended without permission back then, didn’t he?]
Even as he was dissolving into nothing, Long Yin still had the leisure to gloat:
[One thing at a time, the Heavenly Laws won’t spare him either. Once that old fox ascends, his man will probably already be sitting in prison.]
“…?”
Feng Qingyun froze, eyes widening slightly. Finally, he asked, “Will he be locked up for long?”
[Not for long, probably… but just imagine a lofty god staring silently at his wife through a prison fence. Kind of amusing.]
Long Yin chuckled for a moment before getting carried away:
[Besides, that jade bastard barely talks anyway. His daily life isn’t much different from prison, so no need to worry about him. By the time they clean up the mess in the Heavenly Realm, when you ascend, it’ll be nice and peaceful.]
But something in those words struck Feng Qingyun like a blade. He looked up abruptly, eyes reddened and trembling slightly, as if his tail had just been stepped on. Long Yin’s heart skipped a beat. He immediately realized what he’d said wrong and hurried to apologize:
[I spoke without thinking, Little Palace Master, don’t be angry…]
Then he quickly corrected himself:
[When we ascend together, the Heavenly Realm will be peaceful.]
But even though he amended it instantly, Feng Qingyun still sat there glaring at him with reddened eyes. He pressed his lips tightly together, stubbornly refusing to cry again, but his expression only made him look even more heartbreaking.
Even in his past life, when everything had collapsed, when he believed his entire life had been wasted, when ascension was impossible, when he thought there would be no next life…
He had never been this devastated.
Long Yin instantly felt like a complete bastard. In his desperation to coax him, he blurted out anything that came to mind:
[I truly spoke out of turn, please, Little Palace Master, be magnanimous and forgive me this once.]
[When you remember everything… I’ll let you do whatever you want to me. No matter how you trick me or tease me, I promise I won’t get angry. Alright?]
Feng Qingyun didn’t say yes, nor no. His tear-soaked lashes trembled as he lowered his gaze.
Long Yin was at a loss. Thinking he was still angry, he was about to say more when Feng Qingyun suddenly spoke, eyes still lowered:
“…I killed Mu Hanyang.”
Long Yin paused, unsure why he brought it up, but still followed his lead:
[I saw. Letting that trash live this long was already mercy enough.]
Only then did Feng Qingyun lift his reddened eyes to look at him, continuing, “There won’t be such a person anymore. You don’t have to be unhappy again.”
Long Yin froze for a moment, then suddenly smiled:
[As the rightful first wife, I’m so broad-minded, how could I be unhappy?]
Then his tone softened, saying:
[From now on, we’ll both live happily. Little Palace Master, you must be happy too… alright?]
But Feng Qingyun only pressed his lips together, tears still clinging to them, saying nothing. Feigning dissatisfaction, Long Yin continued:
[Fair exchange, they say, I’ve already agreed to let you do as you please. Why is the Little Palace Master pretending to be mute now?]
Yet Feng Qingyun had no intention of making any “exchange.” He stubbornly looked away, red-eyed, refusing to answer, thinking,
Without you, how could I ever be happy?
Seeing his stubbornness, Long Yin’s heart twisted painfully, but just as he was about to speak again, Feng Qingyun abruptly changed the subject. He took the merfolk egg out of his storage ring and gathered it in his arms, gently nourishing it with demonic Qi. The little egg had eaten just the night before, so it wasn’t too hungry. While feeding, it curiously “looked” around, its attention split.
“…”
The person he loved had come from afar just to see him… now sitting on the ground, quietly holding and nurturing an egg. It was such a beautiful scene, so beautiful that Long Yin froze, at a loss for words.
At that moment, a drop of golden liquid slid down Feng Qingyun’s cheek and fell onto the eggshell. The egg paused, tilting slightly as if looking up at him.
[Daddy?]
A clear, childish voice, neither male nor female, but impossibly obedient and adorable. Feng Qingyun froze the moment he heard it, then lowered his head in disbelief: “…Was that just now you speaking, baby?”
Realizing Feng Qingyun could hear it, the egg immediately forgot all about the golden liquid on its shell and burst with excitement:
[It’s Dandan1!]
[Daddy can hear Dandan now, wow!]
It happily nuzzled his palm.
[Daddy, kiss!]
The unhatched little merfolk knew nothing of sorrow. Though it had just been kidnapped by the enemy, it was already cheerful again. For a moment, the pain of parting in the cave seemed to fade. Feng Qingyun gently lifted it, kissing its shell, then lowered his eyes to hide the tears at the corners, rubbing it softly:
“Good baby… look at your Father.”
Only then did the egg turn its attention toward that golden statue-like figure, and suddenly realized:
[Father! Why do you look like this?!]
Long Yin, however, was perfectly at ease with his condition, so he snorted lightly:
[What, don’t you think your Father looks powerful like this?]
[I don’t.] The egg replied bluntly. [You’re only half left. You look kind of ugly.]
Feng Qingyun’s heart trembled. His gaze dimmed almost instantly, clearly struck where it hurt. Long Yin panicked at once and immediately scolded:
[You little brat, is that how you talk to your Father? Say it again! Careful or I’ll shake your yolk out!]
Faced with such a terrifying threat, little Beichen wasn’t scared at all. Instead, it innocently asked:
[Father, are you sick?]
The clueless child, pure and foolish, hit every sore spot Feng Qingyun had as Long Yin quickly answered:
[Yes. Father has a disease; if I can’t see your Daddy, I’ll melt.]
[Really?!] The innocent egg believed it instantly. [That sounds so serious!]
[I’m lying, you little fool.] Long Yin teased mercilessly, even bullying the child. [Why are you so easy to trick? When you hatch, you won’t actually turn out to be a little turtle, will you? If you are, your Daddy and I won’t want you.]
Since ancient times, no words wounded a child more than “your parents won’t want you anymore.”
Little Beichen immediately panicked, lifting itself anxiously toward Feng Qingyun, almost on the verge of tears:
[Daddy, what’s a turtle?! I won’t be one, right?!]
Watching such a small child get influenced into calling itself a “turtle,” Feng Qingyun, though his tears had yet to dry, was finally dragged out of his grief.
“…Don’t listen to his nonsense,” he said. “Beichen is a merfolk. And… turtles, softshell turtles, aren’t bad spirit beasts either. Don’t copy the way your Father talks, it’s not polite.”
[Oh, okay.] Beichen replied obediently. [Then what’s a softshell turtle?]
Feng Qingyun gently rubbed the shell as he explained: “It’s a kind of spirit beast with a shell on its back. When you grow up, you’ll see them…”
At this moment, they were like the most ordinary family in the world. All the suffering, all the uncertain futures, just for this fleeting moment, made way for a brief happiness. The three of them chatted endlessly, deliberately avoiding painful topics. Neither Feng Qingyun nor Long Yin brought them up; instead, they spoke of a future so beautiful it felt unreal.
Only Long Yin, incorrigible as ever, couldn’t bear to tease his lover, so he turned all his mischief toward the child.
He threatened the egg, saying that after it hatched, he and Feng Qingyun would ascend to the Heavenly Realm to live alone, leaving it behind in the mortal world to cultivate under Bai Ruolin or Yue Jinshu. Only after reaching the tribulation stage could it come find them.
The egg believed him instantly and exploded: [No! Dandan doesn’t want that!] It burrowed pitifully into Feng Qingyun’s arms.
[Daddy…]
“…Why are you always bullying the child?” Feng Qingyun quickly hugged the egg, soothingly rubbing its shell. “Your Father is lying. We won’t listen to him.”
At that, even the usually gentle egg got upset, mumbling:
[…Father is bad! Always bullying Dandan!]
Long Yin, however, had opinions about its self-address: [Cultivator Beichen, with such a majestic name, why do you keep calling yourself ‘Dandan’?! It doesn’t sound like the child of a Sword Master and a Demon Emperor; it sounds like someone’s pet cat or dog. Don’t you like the name this Lord gave you?]
Being addressed so seriously as “Cultivator,” little Beichen got distracted immediately and explained: [But the big gray wolf called me Cultivator Egg, and Sister Yueyue also calls me EggEgg…]
Long Yin’s head started spinning from all the “egg-this, egg-that”, finally agreeing: [Alright, alright, whatever you say, stop, stop!]
Feng Qingyun finally broke into laughter through his tears, unable to hold it back as he watched the two of them. After resigning himself helplessly, Long Yin seemed as if he wanted to flick the egg on the forehead, but unfortunately, he no longer had hands. He could only give up on the idea and continue:
[Then, esteemed Fellow Cultivator “Dandan”, do you still remember the task your Father gave you earlier?]
The egg immediately puffed up proudly:
[Dandan remembers!]
[Good. Then repeat it for me.] Long Yin said with mock seriousness.
At that, the egg stammered as it recited: [Father is Long Yin, he is Daddy’s beloved, he is… um, Daddy’s Dao companion, and also…]
It hesitated for a moment, then dropped a bombshell: […the one who sleeps with Daddy every night!]
The statement was nothing short of earth-shattering. Even Feng Qingyun snapped out of his grief for a second, thinking,
Yue Jinshu is no longer allowed to babysit!!!
[Good, good, good.] Long Yin couldn’t help but laugh. [Seems your Father didn’t raise you for nothing.]
But the poor little merfolk egg, whose brain was barely the size of a peach pit, got completely thrown off by the interruption and froze mid-thought:
[And also… um… also…]
Feng Qingyun finally shot that bastard of a father a look he could no longer endure, then lowered his voice and reminded gently:
“In a little while… Daddy is going to forget Father. So what is Dandan’s task now?”
Prompted like that, the egg immediately understood:
[Dandan’s task is to firmly remember Father, and when Daddy forgets him, help Daddy remember again!]
Feng Qingyun smiled softly, lowering his head to kiss the eggshell. “That’s right. Thank you, my good baby.”
Encouraged, the egg became even more obedient, turning to carefully “look” at Long Yin. It didn’t understand fear, only that Father was sick and pitiful right now, and that it needed to do its job well.
But at that moment, Long Yin said:
[Wrong. Your most important task is not to let your Daddy be sad. Nothing else matters. Remember this: whether he remembers me or not, you must make sure he is happy.]
The egg froze.
Its not-yet-developed brain simply couldn’t process such a complicated instruction, so it instinctively turned to “look” at Feng Qingyun. Feng Qingyun’s eyes shimmered with moisture, but his expression remained gentle as he smiled:
“Don’t listen to him. Listen to Daddy.”
Having grown up nourished by Feng Qingyun’s demonic Qi, it naturally sided with him when their instructions conflicted, agreeing:
[Okay! Dandan listens to Daddy!]
Feng Qingyun smiled and stroked the shell, though when he lowered his gaze, he hid the tears in his eyes. Amid the egg’s chattering voice, the three of them talked for a long time. So long that the egg’s voice gradually slowed, until it finally went quiet, as if it had fallen asleep, nestled in Feng Qingyun’s arms, leaving only a gentle, steady flow of demonic Qi.
At first, Feng Qingyun thought it was just tired. But not long after, an irresistible drowsiness began to overtake him as well.
Time was up.
He froze for a moment, then suddenly fell silent. The space became so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Seeing his eyes redden again, Long Yin’s heart ached as he quickly spoke:
[What’s wrong? Why are you crying again?]
Feng Qingyun said nothing. He simply raised a hand to wipe his tears and said hoarsely, solemnly:
“…I won’t make you wait too long.”
[Alright.] Long Yin smiled within his heart. [I believe you.]
[Don’t cry. I’ll always be watching you, until the day you remember me again.]
The drowsiness surged, and Feng Qingyun could no longer resist. Tears broke free as he was forced to close his eyes.
[Sleep, my Little Rose.]
When you wake, I’ll stay by your side in another way. So don’t be afraid.
In the end, Feng Qingyun fell asleep in his arms, clutching the merfolk egg, unwilling. A gentle white light enveloped his entire body, and in his sleep, he had a long dream.
In that dream, they had no next life, and all their regrets were fulfilled in that first one.
They held Dao companion ceremonies in both the Xiān Gōng Sect and the Demon Palace. In the first spring after the ceremony, he saw flowers blooming across the mountains, fragrance filling the halls, morning light spilling across the world.
It was a good life.
A complete life.
But when he reached the end of that life in the dream, standing at its final point, he could no longer see the face of the person beside him.
He couldn’t even remember his name.
He only felt that person lean down gently. A kiss, light as a feather, landed on his cheek.
…Who was kissing him?
That person seemed to say something, but he couldn’t hear it. Then, as if smiling, the person gently pushed him from behind and sent him out of the dream. Light broke across the sky, and a thread of pure white radiance fell upon him.
When Feng Qingyun opened his eyes again, he found himself lying in the wilderness under boundless moonlight, still holding the merfolk egg.
The moonlight didn’t feel cold.
Instead, it carried a strange warmth, seeping into his body, making him feel almost feverish. And yet, that warmth could not touch the cold in his heart. Instead, it felt like waking from a dream, his whole being filled with an indescribable sense of loss.
A vague sorrow and piercing ache lingered in his chest, as though something, someone, had been torn completely out of his life.
But Feng Qingyun only looked up at the bright moon, confused.
He didn’t know who he was grieving for.
The moon hung high in the sky, luminous and clear.
Yet tonight… it was only a half-moon.
…Could moonlight be this bright even when it wasn’t full?
Feng Qingyun didn’t know.
He only felt, under that pale light, that his flowers had withered.
And whether it would bloom again next spring…
He didn’t know.
T.N: This novel is now completed on my Patreon, at chapter 88! There are still 12 extras that I will translate in the following weeks, but for now, let us celebrate 😀
- 蛋蛋- Dàn Dàn, literally “Egg Egg”. I just left it as Dandan, I think it’s cuter than Egg Egg ↩︎
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