Jian Ru hesitated for a moment and instinctively wanted to refuse. His pride made him unwilling to have any connection with the Second Young Master, unwilling to take even the slightest benefit that did not belong to him.
Aunt Jin was already watching his expression closely. Before he could even speak, she quickly persuaded him a few times. “It’ll just be a few sentences. You saved him; at the very least, he should personally thank you.”
But Jian Ru still hesitated. Aunt Jin took his hand and continued, “I’ll go with you. We’ll just say a few words and then return to your room. Tomorrow, whether you go home or not, it’s up to you.”
Thinking of the ten taels of silver he had been worrying about, Jian Ru decided he would only be able to receive it if he met the person. At last, he nodded.
Aunt Jin glanced at the sky and estimated the time, her mood visibly lightening. “The Second Young Master has a small kitchen in his courtyard,” she said. “He should still be having his meal now. You rest for a moment; I’ll go check on him and then come back to fetch you.”
Jian Ru agreed and, keeping his expression as normal as possible, saw Aunt Jin out. Once she left, he closed the door and paced back and forth inside the room several times.
After thinking for a moment, he quickly went out again. He didn’t know where the main kitchen was, so he simply fetched a basin of cold water back, stripped off his clothes, and hastily wiped down his body. Even though it was summer, he still shivered from the cold.
He didn’t have any improper thoughts; he simply worried that, having been ill and sweating so much, he might smell unpleasant to others. With his mind occupied, he finally stopped obsessively rubbing his already red, chafed hands over the past two days.
After getting dressed again, he sat by the bed waiting. He picked at the torn edges of his clothes, biting his lip. After a while, he still stood up, found the set of new clothes he had put away in the cabinet, and looked at them for a long time.
In the end, he changed into them.
Just after he finished changing, he began to regret it and wanted to take them off again, but Aunt Jin had already knocked twice on the door and, without waiting for his response, pushed it open.
The moment she entered, her eyes lit up. She looked him up and down and said loudly, “Good clothes really make a person look better! You look much nicer in this!”
Since he had already put them on and been seen, Jian Ru stopped hesitating. Thinking he would just deduct the cost from the ten taels of silver, he stood there and let her look freely.
Aunt Jin circled him once, straightened his front and back hems, and chuckled. “Before, no matter how much I persuaded you, you refused to change. So why are you suddenly not insisting on your precious old clothes anymore?”
Jian Ru felt as though the little thoughts he had been trying to hide were all seen through. The forced composure he had just built collapsed instantly. Embarrassed, he lowered his head and didn’t dare meet the smiling old woman’s eyes.
Rain began to fall again, in a light, steady drizzle.
Jian Ru took an umbrella and followed Aunt Jin out of the room. They passed through the courtyard, walked along a corridor, and turned a corner. Only then did Jian Ru realize the manor had hidden depths.
Beyond the turn lay a more refined inner courtyard.
Aunt Jin explained, “You’re staying in the guest quarters. This is where the Li family’s own relatives stay when they come. Since early summer, the Second Young Master has been recuperating here for quite some time.”
As they entered the courtyard gate, Jian Ru’s nerves tightened for no reason, and his steps slowed.
Noticing he had fallen behind, Aunt Jin turned back and saw his unease. She stopped and leaned closer, lowering her voice. “Don’t be afraid. The Second Young Master is easy to get along with. Besides, it’s not really a proper meeting anyway…”
Jian Ru looked confused, and Aunt Jin explained, “The Second Young Master is worried you’ll feel awkward seeing him face-to-face and won’t be able to speak properly. You’ll understand once you go in.” She waved her hand, leading Jian Ru into the courtyard and stopping at a door. She knocked twice, then, without waiting for a response from inside again, pushed the door open and motioned for Jian Ru to enter.
As Jian Ru stepped inside, he caught a faint, pleasant fragrance, something soothing and inexplicably calming.
He closed his umbrella and handed it to Aunt Jin, quickly scanning the room. Everything inside was far more elegant than where he had been staying: tables, chairs, and furnishings all refined and beautiful; even the carved patterns on the doors and windows were exquisite. It was almost overwhelming to look at.
Aunt Jin set the umbrella by the door, closed it behind him, and gently nudged him forward. Only then did Jian Ru recover his senses and notice that behind a hazy screen across the room stood a tall, slender figure.
A soft cough came from behind the screen. When Jian Ru looked over, the person coughed again, then slightly bent his body and formally bowed to him through the screen.
Jian Ru hurriedly returned the gesture with a small bow.
“Second Young Master,” Aunt Jin said, “I’ve brought him. He’s leaving early tomorrow morning. If there’s anything you want to say, say it now.”
With that, Aunt Jin gestured for Jian Ru to sit on the round stool beside him. She herself walked behind the screen, poured a cup of water for the person inside, and after he finished drinking, took the cup away and also poured one for Jian Ru. Only then did she sit to the side, pick up a half-finished embroidered handkerchief from the windowsill, and begin stitching while occasionally glancing toward both sides of the screen.
Jian Ru saw the shadow behind the screen sit down before he finally sat as well. But he only perched on the very edge of the stool, too restrained to sit properly.
“It was I who asked Aunt Jin to invite you here. I hope I haven’t been too presumptuous,” the Second Young Master spoke. His voice was clear like a young man’s, but with a faint hoarseness, different from what he had heard that day by the river, yet still carrying a trace of familiarity.
Hearing this, Jian Ru awkwardly imitated proper speech and replied, “Second Young Master… you are too polite.”
After he finished speaking, there was no sign that he intended to continue, so the Second Young Master slowly went on.
“That day by the river, I was absorbed in the rain scene and accidentally stepped into the river and fell in. If you had not saved me, I would have lost my life.” Behind the screen, the shadow stood again and gave Jian Ru a deep bow. “Your life-saving grace, I will never forget!”
Jian Ru also hurriedly stood up. He did not want to accept such a formal bow, nor did he want the other party to bring up repaying kindness through marriage again. He could no longer maintain any polite facade and blurted out quickly, like scattering beans:
“It was just a coincidence! I couldn’t just stand by and do nothing. Second Young Master, you really don’t need to take it to heart; you really don’t! I’ve never eaten or worn anything so good in my life; it’s already broadened my horizons. And you even treated my illness. I’ll go home tomorrow, and we’ll just consider this settled; we don’t owe each other anything anymore!”
By the time he finished, he had already forgotten about those few taels of silver entirely.
After he said this, the room fell silent for a long while. Aunt Jin looked at Jian Ru and quietly sighed, shaking her head.
Only after speaking did Jian Ru realize how his words might have sounded, like he was desperately trying to sever all ties. His face flushed with regret. He bit his lip and grew restless, even wanting to leave.
From behind the screen, the Second Young Master finally spoke again.
“Has your body recovered fully? Is the medicine still effective?”
Jian Ru let out a soft “mm,” still embarrassed from before. Feeling that his response had been too perfunctory, he added, “I’m completely recovered now. Thank you, Second Young Master, for prescribing the medicine.”
After thinking for a moment, he added, “And you… How are you? I heard you’re still coughing.”
“I’m fine,” the Second Young Master replied. “The cough is an old illness. Whenever I catch a cold, it lingers for many days and is difficult to cure.”
Jian Ru had already heard from Aunt Jin that the Second Young Master had been born prematurely. Because the Madam was advanced in age when she had him, he had been weak since childhood, suffering from congenital deficiency. Although the family were all physicians and the Second Young Master himself was skilled in medicine, his condition had never fully improved, and he had grown up frail and frequently ill.
Jian Ru thought that although the Second Young Master was well-dressed, handsome, and refined like someone from a painting, his life might not necessarily be easier than his own. Thinking of that day in the mountain cave, how the man had lain there with long hair spread out and a pale, defeated face, he could not help but feel a trace of pity for someone he had only met twice.
After these brief exchanges, the room fell silent again.
Jian Ru kept feeling that the other party still had something to say, but was finding it difficult to speak. After a long while, just as Jian Ru was thinking whether it might be time to leave, the shadow behind the screen finally spoke.
“Aunt Jin said you don’t want to marry me.”
Jian Ru had just begun to rise from the stool when he heard this and nearly fell off it in shock.
He quickly steadied himself and sat properly again. “I… I…” He had not expected the Second Young Master to be so direct and was completely flustered, unsure how to respond.
At that moment, coughing sounded again from behind the screen, this time more severe, and it did not stop for a while. Aunt Jin immediately set down her needlework and went to pour water again.
Only after the coughing subsided did she sit back down, her face full of worry.
Jian Ru, who had just stood up in alarm, even thought of stepping behind the screen to help, but seeing that things had settled, he finally spoke clearly:
“I don’t need you to repay me.”
Behind the screen, there was a brief silence. Then the Second Young Master said softly, “My body has long been a burden to my family.”
Jian Ru did not understand why he suddenly said this and could only comfort him, “Since they are family, even if one is ill or injured or disabled… even if one is bedridden and cannot move, as long as they are alive, there is still hope. Life still continues.”
As he spoke the last sentence, his throat tightened slightly.
These were his true feelings. In countless nights, he had thought that if his parents had not died, even if they had been bedridden and he had to care for them every day, he would not have been so alone these past years. At least he would still have had a family.
The Second Young Master did not know his family situation, but he seemed to hear the sorrow in his voice and asked cautiously, “These past days, no one has come looking for you. Your elders at home…?”
“Three years ago there was a fire,” Jian Ru replied. “My parents died trying to protect me.”
A deep sigh came from behind the screen, and Aunt Jin said, “Life and death are destined by heaven. Jian’ger should not blame himself.” Then she turned to the person behind the screen and continued, “Second Young Master has just recovered. Do not dwell too much on sadness.”
The Second Young Master coughed a few more times lightly and said softly, “So… you refuse to marry me because you are afraid my health is poor and I might die early?”
This time, it was Jian Ru who choked and started coughing.
He awkwardly stopped himself and, thinking back to how they had held each other in the mountain cave, felt even more complicated. Though he had been the one helping to warm the other man, in truth, after the Second Young Master had recovered slightly, he too had kept him warm.
Most people did not die from drowning, but from catching a fatal chill afterward. That day, Jian Ru had seemed fine, but in truth, his constitution was weak to begin with as well. If he had survived, it was also thanks to the Second Young Master.
But Jian Ru was not a person who thought too deeply. Once the words formed in his mind, he could no longer hold them back, nor bear to let the young man misunderstand him.
He was about to explain everything clearly, but then he glanced at Aunt Jin. Noticing his look, she patted her knee and said, “Alright then, this old woman will step out and do some work. Second Young Master, you two talk.”
From behind the screen came a soft response. The old woman quickly picked up her umbrella and went out, even closing the door tightly behind her.
Now the room contained only the two of them, separated by the screen, silence hanging between them as incense curled upward.
“Just now, with Aunt Jin here, I couldn’t say it properly,” Jian Ru finally spoke. “I don’t dislike you.”
He gritted his teeth. “I… I dislike myself.”
“Why?” the Second Young Master asked softly.
Since the conversation had already begun, the rest didn’t feel so hard to say anymore, so… Jian Ru simply said, “That day you must have seen it. Half my face is covered in burn scars. People often say behind my back that I look as ugly as a ghost. My family is also poor; after pooling everything together, I only have a little over ten strings of copper coins.”
With that, he looked up at the calligraphy and paintings hanging on the wall before continuing, “I don’t know many characters. I can’t read books, and I don’t understand paintings either. I do rough work all day, so my hands and feet are coarse. I’m not like those girls or gers who dress themselves up beautifully and smell nice every day.”
“I have no parents. After they passed away, my relatives weren’t well-off either. They were afraid I’d become a burden, so we don’t really keep in contact anymore. Aside from relying on myself, I don’t have any other support.”
He paused, then added something else he thought of. “I… I also have a bad temper. I speak bluntly and offend people easily.”
After saying everything he had kept bottled up, Jian Ru suddenly felt much lighter. He thought to himself that he and this Second Young Master Li really weren’t from the same world.
Their brief encounter was nothing more than an accident. From now on, it would be like dust returning to dust and earth returning to earth. Second Young Master Li would remain Second Young Master Li. He would go back to his village, work the fields, and support himself. When he grew old and could no longer work, he would spend whatever little money he had left, find a place he liked in the mountains, dig a hole for himself, and wait for death.
But even if he wanted to die, he would never jump into a river again. Drowning was too painful, and he never wanted to experience it a second time in his life.
As he thought this, he felt oddly open and unyielding, as if he were living with clarity and pride. But as he spoke, he still couldn’t help his voice breaking slightly, forcing himself not to let tears fall.
“I… don’t have many good days in a whole year,” a clear yet slightly hoarse voice suddenly spoke, slow and calm.
Jian Ru froze and looked up toward the figure behind the screen. The figure was turned slightly to the side, as if listening to the rain outside the window.
“These years I’ve been bedridden most of the time. Although I’ve learned some medical skills, I rarely have the chance to treat patients and help relieve their suffering as my elder brothers and sisters do. I have lived all these years in vain, wasting time because of illness, achieving nothing.”
Jian Ru opened his mouth, finally realizing that the Second Young Master Li was imitating his words, speaking about his own shortcomings.
“My family has always had to take care of me and comfort me. I have burdened them for many years. Although they have never once complained of exhaustion or impatience, I still feel uneasy and guilty. I don’t want to trouble them, nor do I want them to worry about me every day. But they are my closest family, and I cannot say such things to them. If I do, they will be sad.”
“My mother, brother, and sisters all say I will live to a hundred years. But I know myself; even if I am carefully cared for, I may live a long life, but one careless moment, perhaps just a bout of wind-cold from a draft of wind, could take my life.”
“I… don’t know how long I can live.”
As he said this, his voice grew softer.
For some reason, Jian Ru couldn’t stand hearing people talk about dying young. He always felt that the more one spoke of it, the more likely it would come true, so he quickly stood up, almost shouting, “Your family is rich, and you have relatives who care for you! They do it willingly; you don’t need to overthink it. You will definitely live to a hundred. And… and you’re so good-looking, surely many girls or gers would be willing to marry you!”
Hearing this, the Second Young Master did not immediately respond. The room fell silent for a moment before he slowly said, “But…”
“What?” Jian Ru hurriedly asked.
The young man’s voice slowed even more. “That day, when I woke up, I found you trying to warm me.”
Jian Ru’s face instantly burned red. He had not expected him to bring that up so suddenly. As for what “warming” meant and how it had been done, both of them understood perfectly well. Even his mother had been told about it before.
“Later, my family came looking for me…” the Second Young Master continued unhurriedly.
Jian Ru froze, suddenly realizing something he had overlooked. Back then, both of them had been in the cave without clothes. If those people had walked in, they would have seen everything.
Being seen by him alone was one thing, but being seen by so many others made Jian Ru’s face turn pale, as if he might truly collapse.
The Second Young Master seemed to notice his reaction and quickly explained, “Don’t worry. I heard them coming and stopped them from entering. The robe you used to block the cave entrance was also firmly in place.”
Only then did Jian Ru finally breathe out in relief.
“But…” the young man continued, “I saw everything… and I also touched it.”
With a thud, Jian Ru knocked over the stool behind him. He hurriedly lifted it back up in panic, only noticing his hands were trembling as he held the legs.
“I did not mean to offend you,” the young man continued, standing as well and slowly stepping closer. “There were only men outside. I had to… dress you properly before carrying you out. When putting on clothes, some contact was unavoidable…”
So that was what “touched” meant.
Jian Ru’s face felt like it was about to catch fire. He kept his head lowered, not daring to look up.
“Even so, how are you supposed to marry anyone now?” The Second Young Master said softly. “If your future husband finds out, he might come to settle accounts with me. With my health, I probably wouldn’t be able to fight him… I’d likely be beaten to death.”
Jian Ru felt like his whole mind was boiling. He wanted to say that he didn’t need a husband at all, that he didn’t need to marry anyone. But it seemed the Second Young Master had already made up his mind to persuade him.
His voice softened further, almost gentle now, his slightly hoarse tone carrying a quiet warmth. “If you don’t dislike my poor health, then let’s just live together. I don’t have much use, and I might only burden you. But at least… when you return home, there will be someone to talk to.”
At that final sentence, it struck directly at the softest place in Jian Ru’s heart.
Tears suddenly fell from his eyes.
And this time, he could no longer say a word of refusal.
T.N: If you like his novel, you can read up to chapter 14 on my Patreon, with new updates coming every week!
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